Most people spend a lot of time talking about what they want.
Almost all of it is nonsense.
You say you want success.
You say you want money.
You say you want peace.
And then you return to the same routines, the same conversations, the same habits that keep you exactly where you are.
This is both hypocrisy and confusion.
Wanting something is not an opinion you hold.
It’s not a sentence you repeat.
It’s not a vision board or a goal you mention when someone asks what you’re working toward.
Wanting something means moving toward it without hesitation. Without keeping a dozen exits open. Without constantly negotiating with comfort.
Real wanting consumes attention. It reorganizes priorities. It narrows the field of options until there is only one direction left. When you truly want something, your mind stops wandering. Your energy stops leaking. You don’t need motivation because the pull is already there.
Anything else is just noise.
Most people use the word want to describe something that would be nice to have.
It would be nice to have more money.
It would be nice to have freedom.
It would be nice to feel at peace.
But “nice to have” does not move a human being. It doesn’t demand sacrifice. It doesn’t disrupt patterns. It doesn’t threaten identity. It doesn’t move you to change.
And that’s not a failure.
But change only happens when you desperately need something. When you desire it with a consuming passion. When you see it so vividly that you can’t imagine life without it.
Most people are not deeply moved by much. They are content enough. Stable enough. Comfortable enough. And there is nothing wrong with that.
The problem appears when people insist they want change while doing everything possible to avoid it. When they complain endlessly about their lives but never act. When they speak in the language of ambition while only living in avoidance.
That gap is where frustration grows.
There are many reasons this happens.
Sometimes you want to be seen as ambitious, even if you’re not. Sometimes you want to believe change is coming so you don’t have to face the truth that it isn’t. Sometimes you enjoy the emotional rush of declaring a big goal, even though you already know you won’t follow through. Sometimes you confuse dissatisfaction with desire.
Most spend their whole life doing these things on repeat.
But if you feel the urge to stop lying to yourself, there is another way to approach this.
Instead of forcing motivation, pay attention to what already pulls you.
Notice the small curiosities that return again and again. The thoughts you keep revisiting when no one is watching. The ideas that don’t leave you alone even when you try to ignore them. The paths you feel drawn toward but never talk about out loud.
Then ask yourself a more honest question:
Why am I not doing anything to get the thing I say I want?
Not as an accusation.
But as an investigation.
Because the answer is rarely laziness.
It’s usually that you don’t actually want it.
And that realization is freeing.
It may reveal that many of the things you claim to want are just distractions. Nice, respectable distractions that fill your mind so you don’t have to confront what you really want. The things that feel too risky, too personal, too disruptive to admit.
The truth is this:
You only change when you want to.
Not when you should.
Not when it makes sense on paper.
Not when others expect it.
Change begins the moment wanting becomes so intense that it’s impossible to ignore.
Until then, be honest. Live where you are and drop the performance. There is nothing wrong with staying the same if that’s what you really want to do.
But don’t call comfort a prison if you keep choosing it.
When wanting arrives, you’ll know.
You won’t need to convince yourself then.
If this letter spoke to you, the private ones go deeper.
Every Wednesday I write for the people who refuse to stay stuck. The people who want clarity, discipline, and the quiet changes that shift a life.
You can join The Inner Circle for $15 per month. You’ll get my weekly private letters, full archive access, and private Q&As.
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Sincerely,
Milo Morrison